I was in Kentucky for a wedding last weekend. (Sidebar: Nothing is more beautiful than fall in Kentucky. NOTHING. Period.) It was a childhood/middle school/ high school friend and she was beautiful. The wedding was lovely. And, best of all, my Kentucky community was almost all there and they were all loving and supportive and wonderful in a way that only a small town community can truly be. The way that says "We don't really have a clue what is going on in your life but we sure love you."
As I drove away from the reception at 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning after spending time seeing all of my old high school friends and having a blast I suddenly became really angry...at God.
Why did my friend get to be married and happy and content living at home and being a teacher? Why did it get to be so easy for her? Why do I have to be called to live in New York, single, with no family anywhere near me? Why can't I be a teacher in Kentucky? Why couldn't I have followed the boy I loved to college and married him right after? WHERE'S MY LIFE MAP?
Satan is such a genius. Really. All he has to do is whisper in my ear that God is holding out on me. And, BAM, I fall for it. And suddenly I have imagined that my life is so much harder than my friend's. Lies. Lies. Lies. And Satan's pretty consistent. He's been doing that since the beginning of time.
The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”
“Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied.
“It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”
“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”
The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. -Genesis 3:1-6
The line that gives me shudders: "The woman was convinced". I read once that Satan can only tempt us with the things that are already defecits in ourselves. The reason I can be "convinced" so easily is because I already doubt God's goodness.
At a Navs meeting the other night, Amanda gave a pretty stellar illustration. Imagine you have a friend that you don't really trust. You doubt their loyalty. You doubt how much they care for you. It doesn't matter why. Maybe they forgot to call you on your birthday or something.
So one day you are crossing the street on your cell phone and a Mack truck comes barreling at you. You aren't paying attention. Your friend comes running, pushes you out of the way and gets hit by the Mack truck. He dies but he saved you.
Suddenly all of your doubts about his loyalty and his goodness would seem completely bogus.
But that is what Jesus did for me. He got hit by the Mack truck that was my sin. He willingly sacrificed His body, His blood, His life for ME.
Suddenly, it's a little embarassing that I ever questioned His Love, His Loyalty or His Goodness.
As I drove away from the reception at 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning after spending time seeing all of my old high school friends and having a blast I suddenly became really angry...at God.
Why did my friend get to be married and happy and content living at home and being a teacher? Why did it get to be so easy for her? Why do I have to be called to live in New York, single, with no family anywhere near me? Why can't I be a teacher in Kentucky? Why couldn't I have followed the boy I loved to college and married him right after? WHERE'S MY LIFE MAP?
Satan is such a genius. Really. All he has to do is whisper in my ear that God is holding out on me. And, BAM, I fall for it. And suddenly I have imagined that my life is so much harder than my friend's. Lies. Lies. Lies. And Satan's pretty consistent. He's been doing that since the beginning of time.
The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”
“Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied.
“It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”
“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”
The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. -Genesis 3:1-6
The line that gives me shudders: "The woman was convinced". I read once that Satan can only tempt us with the things that are already defecits in ourselves. The reason I can be "convinced" so easily is because I already doubt God's goodness.
At a Navs meeting the other night, Amanda gave a pretty stellar illustration. Imagine you have a friend that you don't really trust. You doubt their loyalty. You doubt how much they care for you. It doesn't matter why. Maybe they forgot to call you on your birthday or something.
So one day you are crossing the street on your cell phone and a Mack truck comes barreling at you. You aren't paying attention. Your friend comes running, pushes you out of the way and gets hit by the Mack truck. He dies but he saved you.
Suddenly all of your doubts about his loyalty and his goodness would seem completely bogus.
But that is what Jesus did for me. He got hit by the Mack truck that was my sin. He willingly sacrificed His body, His blood, His life for ME.
Suddenly, it's a little embarassing that I ever questioned His Love, His Loyalty or His Goodness.
2 comments:
Hi Friend!
What a fantastic post! (And a great title by the way :) I can soooo relate to this post on a lot of levels, and remember when I was in a very similiar position...I am so glad your faith sustains you and you see the Real Author and Finisher of our Faith not only has His best in mind for us, but has a plan that will be our ultimate good and blessing! And hey, I'm coming to NYC this weekend for a random audition and more importantly, to SEE FRIENDS! So, if you'd like, let's get together! I'll fly in Thursday night, and fly home Monday night, and other than my appt. Friday am pretty flexible. I plan on going to Redeemer Sunday, what service do you go to? (My Godparents will be out of town, so I'd love to go with someone). Hope to talk to you soon, I'll face book you as well. Bless you!
Love you,
t
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