Last night I said goodbye to another one of my dearest friends. She's another one biting the dust and moving to L.A. I feel like people just keep walking out of my life. I've lost three dear friends in the last six weeks to distance and unforseen circumstances. My friend said the other day, "I cannot wait til Heaven where everyone I love is in one place." Amen.
My dad just left after essentially "babysitting" me for several days. He dropped everything at home, flew up and basically loved on me. He did our dishes (which were the worst they have ever been.... no seriously.... EVER), cleaned our bathroom, restocked the wine rack (although that just benefits Susan), took two boxes to the post office and shipped them, took me to the beach, put his arm around my shoulder when I cried, made sure I ate enough, encouraged me to go to bed early and take naps, went to two church functions with me (he's not a church fan), took my friends to dinner multiple times to feed them and most importantly, just listened to all of the things that I needed to say.
I will never forget this trip he took and how much it meant to me. I will never forget the important things he dropped (including the funeral of one of his friends) to come be by my side. And it was such an amazing expression and reminder to me of how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He never has to "drop" things and come running, because He is always right here. I just have to seek him out.
"Behold I am with you and will keep you WHEREVER YOU GO, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done that of which I have spoken to you." –Genesis 28:15
When my dad left, I felt about twice as sad as I had before he got there. But, I'm an adult and I chose to live in New York City because I felt God calling me here. I can't just go running home because my community here is changing. For this time, God wants me here.
I remember the verses in Esther where the Jews were in trouble and Esther was living in the palace. She didn't really want to confront the king about not hurting her people because she was afraid she would get killed. And her cousin said to her:
"Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" -Esther 4:14
I have been put in New York City for a time such as this.
And, luckily, He has given me glimpses of the reasons why I am here. Not everyone is so lucky. But I have grown here exponentially more than I did when I was at home. As a Christian and therefore as a person. And I have had more opportunities to serve others here sometimes with gifts I knew I had and sometimes in ways I was not sure I was capable of. But God showed me that through Him, I am always capable.
So tonight I'm in a show.
One that tells a story I am passionate about.
One that demonstrates that when we are impatient with God and take things into our own hands it doesn't work out for the best.
Maybe I've been put in this show for a time and a place such as this.