Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Unbelief and God's Goodness

I cry out
For Your hand of mercy to heal me.
I am weak
I need Your love to free me.
Oh Lord, my rock
My strength in weakness.
Come rescue me, oh Lord.
You are my hope.
Your promise never fails me.
And my desire
Is to follow You forever.

For You are good,
For You are good
For You are good to me.
-"Good to Me" Lyrics

Since this song was included in worship last Sunday, I think I have listened to it at least 50 times.... No lies. Seriously.

The thing that I love about it the most is the tension that exists between being weak and needing God's love to free me to declaring in the next line that the Lord is "my rock, my strength in weakness."

It got me thinking about my doubts. Some people doubt God's existence or doubt God's sovereignty, but most often I struggle with doubting God's goodness.

This week my pastor said that all temptations boil down to believing that I can't or shouldn't fully follow God because He won't give me happiness.

In Mark 9:21-24, a father has brought his son to Jesus for healing from an evil spirit:
Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
"If I can?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

Thank goodness I can ask Jesus to help me overcome my unbelief... about His existence, His sovereignty, His goodness....

If I didn't have moments of doubt, of skepticism, of unbelief there would be nothing to require me to go deeper to find answers... to seek out truth... and to be less dependent on myself and more dependent on God to "help me overcome" my skepticism.

"Doubts and questions are to be loved like the answers themselves. They are the precious journey, without which the destination is worthless."-Frederica Ghesquiere

For He is good,
For He is good,
For He is good to me...

And when I doubt that, He will help me overcome my unbelief.

(P.S. I'll try to make that the last Van Gogh pic. I was still dreaming about the exhibit they had at the MOMA...)

No comments: