Monday, April 2, 2012


I had to attend an Al-Anon meeting for a class. Al-Anon is for friends and family members of alcoholics. One of the attendees shared the following:

"People don't do things to you. People just do what they do."

This person was saying it in regard to the way his alcoholic family member kept hurting the family and his struggle not to take it personally.

If I could remember this for myself each time I offended by someone I could be a much more patient and loving person. When someone snaps at me on the subway or a friend or loved one has hurt me, these things are usually not personal. They have far less to do with me than they do the heart of the individual who is acting out. And my reaction can either feed their anxiety and continue a cycle of negative responses. Or I can choose not to take it personally, not to worry about my bruised ego and move on.

People don't do things to you. People just do what they do.


Random and Odd said...

Hi. i hit 'next blog' trying to get to my other blog and yours came up and I read the first paragraph and it made me want to read it, and then I didn't want to be weird and not say anything.
When my husband and I split up he started drinking horribly. (it's been 15 years, i'm over it) but at therapy I told her, "He is drinking and he knows exactly what I went through as a child with parents that drank themselves into a coma."
She said, "He's drinking AT you." I could understand that. I felt that way with my parents after I stepped back. They were so unhappy it was almost 'lets see who could drink the most. lets see who drinks the longest. lets see who can be a bigger dick.'

I hope everything works out for you.

Rodney said...

I worked at ARC Manor Drug Alcohol Rehabilitation for a few years. Good post.
My wife (Annette) has started another blog page where she likes to do, book reviews, tid bits of family insight, pictures she sees and snaps that make her and maybe even you smile and lastly she loves to do giveaways as her sweet heart loves to bless and encourage others.

Thank you (Annettes husband)Rodney

Fuad A said...

how do you know it could have been faith or the future or something else that cause faith for it to happen

Citizen Atheist said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Marquis said...

I've been to Al-Anon a few times. Great post x

Shweta Patil said...

Your post really made me think. Very true. I go through something like this almost everyday, someone says something that hurts me and I get pissed off. I'll definitely remember this the next time I have such a moment. Thank you! :)

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