Free Tim Keller Sermons

Um, the last time I blogged I was Miss Lauren Hines. I am now Mrs. Lauren Gill.
More on that later.

For now though, Redeemer has 150 FREE Tim Keller sermons online HERE:
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/

Go. Go now. Get it.

Annnnnndddddd.... one of my personal favorites just in case the list of 150 is a little overwhelming for you:

Praying our Fears:
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/praying-our-fears

P.S. Photo by Catherine Leonard Photography. More photos to come!

Coming In Out of the Wind

"The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up in each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind. We can only do it for moments at first. But from those moments that new sort of life will be spreading through our system: because now we are letting Him work at the right part of us. " C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I've been feeling a lot lately like my joy is completely circumstantial. When praying the 3 prayers by J.D. Grear at one point a couple of weeks ago, I caught myself on this one:

"God, Your Presence and Your approval are all I need to have joy today."

And as I was praying it I stopped because I didn't believe it... at all. Not for one second did I believe that God's Presence and Approval were the only things that I needed to have joy. What do I think I need?

Well, I felt pretty certain that my joy was dependent on peace in my relationships, not being bored at my day job, good forward movement in my career, not getting indigestion at lunch....etc. etc.

My joy was based on circumstances. My joy was (and is most of the time) not based on the knowledge that the Creator of the universe Loves me. Not on the knowledge that I have been made fearfully or wonderfully made. Not on the knowledge that each day belongs to the Lord and He has me exactly where He wants me to be in any given moment.

It's usually based on, as Lewis points out, if my expectations are being met. If my "wishes and hopes" for my day, my work, my relationships, my life are being fulfilled or dashed. Because the screaming of all my wishes, hopes, expectations and complaints are far easier to listen to than the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit that calls me near to my Lord.

But in order to believe that prayer- "God, Your Presence and Your Approval are all that I need to have joy today"- I have to shut the other voices up. I have to turn my expectations for what I want over and let each day, each moment be what God wants it to be. If my wishes and hopes for something aren't being fulfilled I have to relinquish those things and trust that God knows what I need better than I myself know.

And once I silence those voices, those expectations that lead to my frustrations, anxiety and bitterness when my day doesn't go the way I want it to, perhaps it will feel like truly, "coming in out of the wind".

God, Your Presence and Your Approval are all I need to have Joy today.

Not happiness.

Not comfort.

Not perfection in all of my circumstances.

But You are all I need to have Joy today.

Culture Making

Just finished listening to a talk by Andy Crouch that was assigned to us for the Gotham Fellowship. He discusses culture making, influencing culture, changing it...

And he starts by saying that culture changes when people make more culture.

He admits this is a "painfully obvious" observation. But then Crouch points out that the way Christians have tried to change culture is by:

1) Condemning and/or protesting the culture that already exists

2) Analyzing it and trying to copy and replicate it within their own subculture

3) By consuming it. Crouch says even a motivated group of consumers can't change what is offered for consumption by consuming what they would like to be influential.

Crouch:

"The only way culture changes is when we get involved, get our hands dirty and make some more of it. And our neighbors by the grace of God say, 'That's intriguing. That's good. I'd like to try that. I'd like to spread the word about that.' That's when culture changes.

Which is both exciting and slightly pressurizing because this means that the ball is in our court to change things... right?

P.S. Photo by Leslie Talley.

"For What We are Worshipping, We are Becoming"

“A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

When people find out that I am engaged after having dated someone for four months, there is a spectrum of responses that range from “Oh my goodness was it love at first sight?!” to the skeptical raised eyebrow and “Well, are you sure this is the one?” I have yet to figure out how to gracefully respond to either query nor do I really know how to deal with the range of responses in between. 

So I was thankful when I heard this while listening to the Tim Keller marriage series the other day:
“Therefore what the Bible means by love is a commitment. At some point love is a decision to serve somebody and be committed to somebody regardless of your feelings and regardless of how that person acts…. At some point, you make a decision- I am going to love this person. Your feelings will always come and go but the problem is a lot of people don’t get married because they are sure that if this person is ‘the one’ that my feelings will never ebb. If this is ‘the one’ then I’ll just know it’s ‘the one’ because I’ll never have any problem. I will always feel like giving myself to that person. You will wait ‘til hell freezes over if you wait for that. Love is an action first that leads to feelings not a feeling that leads to an action.”

It’s difficult for me to internalize that the love I am given is not conditionally based on my performance as a fiancé/wife (which is good, because my track record stinks). But if it was or if my love for my fiancé was based on their track record then I can see why only being with someone for a few months is not enough time to establish that record. If my feeling of love is conditionally based on how you treat me then of course a few months of you treating me well is not enough time to decide to make a lifetime commitment. So I guess I understand their skepticism. 

But what if marriage is not that? What if marriage means that even when I am being a terrible selfish person (which I will be because I’m human) that you still choose to love and commit to me? And what if marriage means that when you are being a terrible selfish person (which they will because they are human) I will choose to be committed and loving to you?

But what is truly overwhelming is that is what Jesus does every day. And even though I will never perfectly love someone, Jesus perfectly loves me when I am selfish all the time. I am His and He is mine. And every day He holds up His end of the bargain even when I fail again and again. That’s capitalized Love. Every day I choose not to prioritize Him. I choose not to Love Him. I choose not to serve Him. And some days I even curse Him to His face. And yet, there is nothing I can do today to make Him love me any more and nothing I can do today to make Him love me any less. 

I think I am only beginning to experience the tip of the iceberg of what it really means to be unconditionally loved by my Savior.

And it’s kind of overwhelming.
And beautiful.

P.S. Photo by Megyn Barroner

Song of the Day

The House of God Forever by Jon Foreman is my new song obsession:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoXWIK1lfyo

"God is my shepherd.
I won't be wanting.
I won't be wanting .
He makes me rest
In fields of green
With quite streams.
Even though I walk
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me.
You are with me .
Your shepherd staff
Comforts me .
You are my feast
In the presence of enemy .
Surely goodness
Follow me
Follow me
In the house of God, forever."

Love it.

Internalize That

"We will never have a challenge [Christ] can't empower us to meet. We will never have a need He can't fill. We will never have an earthly desire He can't exceed. When we allow Christ to be all He is to us, we find wholeness. One piece at a time. Every time you discover the reality of Christ fulfilling another realm of your needs and longings, His name is written on a different part of you, and you are that much closer to wholeness."
-Beth Moore

Amen.